


another love

by brokenlikeastitch



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Good Theo Raeken, M/M, Protective Theo Raeken, Theo Raeken-centric, seeing things differently than scott mccall and that's okay, very introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29819100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenlikeastitch/pseuds/brokenlikeastitch
Summary: and if somebody hurts you, i wanna fightbut my hand's been broken, one too many timesortheo learns that sometimes it’s okay to stop fighting
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 5
Kudos: 87





	another love

**Author's Note:**

> my friend and i talk a lot about how theo got a really harsh punishment compared to some of the other pack members who tried to kill scott and i just wanted to talk about it 
> 
> been working on part two of the harry potter au and this finally came to me, so here's this short little thing addressing it.

Pre-Hell Theo had it figured out. He knew how to push back his feelings and his empathetic capabilities to do what he needed to. Pain was always a means to an end. It was never _personal_ , he didn’t do things to hurt people because he hated them, no, it was all about _survival._ A necessary evil.

Because pre-Hell Theo knew that a single slip up would make him a failure, and he’d come too far to be the Doctor’s latest failure. He’d done too many unspeakable things to give up. He’d sat through countless procedures and tests. If anything, he felt this overwhelming drive to succeed so that his sister’s heart wouldn’t go to waste.

He’d been doing it for so long. Controlling his chemosignals, building his tolerance, giving nothing away besides what he thought would be most beneficial. People saw glimpses, only what he wanted them to, to gain their trust. He did it outside of Beacon Hills, like some sick practice run for the McCall pack.

And in the end, it didn’t even matter because he did fail. The Doctors did too, and maybe that was really what made everything worth it. He’d been fighting so long just to stay afloat, freedom from them, from the pain, having been a dream he never let himself dream. It was surreal, knowing he was free even though his plans, theirs by extension, had failed.

Then he was falling, or more accurately, dragged, underground by his dead sister. The taste of _almost_ had tears pricking in his eyes as he ran away from her over and over, only to fail every time she punched her hand into his chest to tear out his heart. Maybe he deserved it, he’d caused so much pain, it was only fair he had to suffer some too. But wasn’t living with the Doctors, living with himself and what he had to do to survive enough? 

Apparently not because for what felt like eons he stayed in that damn morgue. Breaking his way out over and over to meet the same fate. He wondered if it was really Hell or if it was some sort of prison. If it wasn’t Hell, he decided the McCall pack was crueler than they let on because surely death was better than this.

Theo had time to reflect, all the choices he’d made to stay alive, and he couldn’t help but wonder what his life would’ve been like had he never listened to the sweet, tempting whispers of the Doctors. They’d promised him strength and freedom from a family who never loved him, what sickly _kid_ wouldn’t want that.

He thought about the people he killed who didn’t deserve it, Tracy and Josh, kids in other towns. There were kids he had to use, like Corey and Hayden, who deserved better than him. Loneliness was a bitch and fighting to stay alive always trumped it. He really should’ve known better.

But the kicker really was, Theo realized as he scratched another tally into the morgue wall to mark his five hundredth death, at the end, maybe it was best he was there because even if he was out, did he even remember how to be _normal_? To live without the constant threat of pain to stay in line.

He stopped after 700 marks on the wall. Besides running out of room, he was losing hope that anyone would come for him. Theo resigned himself to his fate to be down there forever. It gave him time to marvel in the nuance because when he wasn’t distracted by the terror of running from his dead sister, he sat and waited and thought.

Prior to his Beacon Hills arrival, he’d done ample research on the pack, on what they’d done over the years. It was how he picked who he wanted in his pack; it was how the Doctors narrowed down who’d be useful and who they’d need to weed out. He had to laugh, the body count the pack racked up was staggering, even compared to his. But it never mattered in the end, because if he could count on anything, it was Scott McCall refusing to see things in shades of grey.

He’d really given up by the time light tore through the ceiling of the hospital and shone down on him, a way out _finally_. Theo really didn’t want to trust it at first, it seemed more likely he’d exhausted this torture, so Tara was getting creative. So he stayed, sitting on the floor outside the drawer he’d just punched his way out of again until he heard her coming. Something in him was screaming to fight so he did, sprinting toward the light, toward freedom.

Except it wasn’t really freedom because he was still at their mercy. Each member of the pack unforgiving in their own way. But Theo really couldn’t bring himself to care because he was out. No more running only to die, the same hurt never ending, though he then had the unfortunate side effect of _actual_ death if he wasn’t careful. 

He stayed on the fringes, never taking up too much space, but being around when they needed. Whether it was some sort of penance for the problems he’d caused or just the desire to have a purpose which he found himself lacking for the first time since the Doctors took him, he stuck around.

The Ghost Riders were first, he fought well, he thought, and he couldn’t help but notice that the pain was different. There were a lot of close calls, times he thought it was over, but it never ended. Whether it was Liam saving him or a surge of strength summoned from within, _he kept fighting_. And it hurt, he bled, but he healed, and his heart beat on.

Then was the war with the hunters. Far more exhausting than the Wild Hunt. The latter were a truly impartial enemy, but the hunters were operating on fear and hatred, human bias that made things messy. It was scarier because losing a fight meant death, not just snapping out of existence, and he was _tired_.

Sleeping in his truck, the constant interruptions, the nightmares, were a recipe for disaster. Theo was constantly on edge, fighting to stay awake, to watch his back, and he never felt safe. And maybe safe was the wrong word, but he wasn’t sure what the right one was. Secure wasn’t quite right and he’d faked steady for too long to really understand its meaning.

The torture was easy when it finally happened. Between the Doctors’ experimentation and Tara’s punishment, Theo was used to it. _That_ pain felt familiar. Theo realized what it was, the difference in the two pains. One he felt fighting for himself, and the other was when he was fighting for others. The latter hurt more when he felt it.

And somehow he made it through, he fought the war with the pack, with Liam, until it was over and the hunters fled Beacon Hills. He faintly remembered watching the boy drag himself across the hospital floor, smearing blood behind him, and Theo distractedly wondered if he felt the first pain or the second. 

Before he considered it further, there was a gurgling noise, blood in Gabe’s throat, he was choking, and Theo acted. He didn’t even realize what he was doing at first, only understanding when he felt the pain. The second pain that came from fighting for others. And he stayed, clutching Gabe’s arm until his hand went limp, all the while, _you can’t take pain if you don’t care,_ echoed through his brain.

Theo didn’t stick around. He waited until they stopped looking and then he left, a new, third type of pain growing in his chest. It ached, and he rubbed at it subconsciously until his phone lit up with a text from Liam, asking him where he’d gone. It was late, and Theo wanted to sleep and heal and not think about fighting for at least a week, so he didn’t respond.

He left, but he didn’t go far, and Theo was pretty sure he never would. The reason he didn’t really want to look that deep into because he wasn’t sure he was prepared to face that answer. Scott found him a week after the last fight, sitting at the bridge, feet dangling over the edge.

The conversation was stilted, Scott not sure what to say and Theo not having any answers. In the end, they reached a consensus, Theo would stick around and keep an eye out while Scott was gone, which he liked. They shook hands and Scott was gone, footsteps getting softer until it was like he was never there.

Theo reveled in it, the thought of having a purpose. The idea that maybe he’d feel the somehow more pleasant second pain. He was being used by the pack, sure, but at least it was for the supposed good guys. Though he still felt that line was a bit more blurred than any of them truly let on. 

He fought new things, some of which he remembered from the Doctors, some he didn’t, and he tried to make sure they never got to Liam. For some reason, Scott was insistent Liam have a normal year, which Theo guessed he understood, because he craved a normal year himself.

Argent came around a lot, always asking Theo what he’d been seeing, any new people or scents. Theo always had an answer. Though he didn’t want to let on, it was probably his favorite time of the week, having that contact with someone who was a little like him. Someone trying to make up for their mistakes by fighting harder than everyone else.

Or maybe that was a lie, maybe his favorite time of the week was when he inevitably ran into Liam. It happened a few times, whether it was in town or in the woods, the younger boy always managed to find him. Theo wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not, a sick feeling washing through him when he realized Liam was checking up on him to make sure he hadn’t gone back to killing people.

If that was the case, Theo didn’t know how to fix that because he hadn’t, but how would he even begin to convince someone of that who didn’t trust him anyway. If it wasn’t the reason, Theo wasn’t quite sure the implications of the repeated visits. At least, until he was awoken by pain again. 

It was sharp and he felt warmth dripping out of his nose, jolted awake by the sudden punch. The bones shifted back into place as he blinked his eyes open, only to see the half shifted beta in front of him, fist clenched like he was ready to throw another punch.

“Can I help you?” Theo finally asked when the other boy made no move to speak.

“I’m not the one who needs help,” Liam bit out, still tense.

Theo didn’t have a response because Liam was right in one sense, but so so _wrong_ in another. He didn’t _need_ help because Theo always took care of everything before it got to him, and Theo wasn’t sure how to break that to him.

Turns out he didn’t need to worry about that because Liam found out. He overheard it from a phone call between Argent and Scott. That Theo was paying his price, and instead of being grateful, he hunted Theo down to break his nose, which seemed uncalled for, in Theo’s opinion.

“Do you even,” Liam’s voice sounded wrecked, “do you even have somewhere to go?”

And the noise he made when Theo motioned around the little clearing they were in towards his truck had something gripping Theo’s chest. It hurt.

Liam, to his credit, didn’t hesitate, “Come home with me.”

“Liam,” Theo started with a sigh, but the other boy didn’t let him finish.

“Theo, please, don’t argue with me.”

Liam sounded tired, too tired for Theo’s liking. What was the point of being out there, risking things, if Liam was still miserable anyway? He took that reasoning, though probably flawed, and clung onto it, let it lead him to Liam’s house, inside, and into a guest bedroom made up for him.

He revisited the pain the first time Jenna brought him a plate. Liam forced him into a shower, not that he fought much, he needed to clean off the blood from his broken nose, and afterward, sitting on his bed, he didn’t realize he’d sat for so long he’d missed dinner. 

The door pushed open slowly after a quiet knock, and Liam’s mom stuck her head in with a smile, holding a plate of spaghetti in front of her. Theo hesitated, taken aback, and she smiled again, crossing the room to brush some hair off his forehead before pressing the plate into one hand, a fork into the other.

“Bring it down when you finish,” she instructed and was gone before he could respond. That same pain in his chest was back, so he decided to dwell on it. It felt familiar, like a dream almost. If he’d felt it before, it had been a while.

Theo ate and slept and got up the next morning, prepared to leave again, but when he got down to the kitchen, Liam was sitting at the table, flicking through a history textbook, steaming cup of coffee in front of him.

“Where are you going?” he asked when Theo slowed to a stop next to him, taking advantage of his surprise.

Theo shrugged, trying to gather himself, “Thanks for letting me stay.”

Liam was out of his seat barely before Theo finished, hand gripping his shoulder, “It’s not a one night offer, Theo.”  
“What,” he asked, but it wasn’t really a question.

“My mom isn’t running a bed and breakfast for lost supernaturals. It’s a place to stay, a home.”

Theo hadn’t had one of those in a while, and that new pain returned with a vengeance. He rubbed over his heart, half paying attention, musing, “Home.”

“Yeah, somewhere safe to stay until you figure something out,” he paused and winced when Theo didn’t move, “or forever, there’s no time limit.”

The distinction was probably good because Theo really wasn’t trying to figure anything out, he’d settled and was content with his situation. Some trust was better than none and he did at least have his truck. Liam seemed to see that, and he sighed, tugging at his hair, “Stay here, Theo. Please.”

Almost nothing could make him say no to that. He wasn’t sure if he could ever really deny Liam anything because he realized, while the McCall pack may have freed him, they’d never shown _kindness_. Not like Liam had. Liam who’d ultimately saved him.

“Okay,” he relented a few seconds later, “okay.”

Looking out for Liam was actually much easier when he knew the boy’s schedule. Jenna kept all three pinned on the fridge so that they knew where everyone was supposed to be at all times, and she urged Theo to write his up and put it with theirs. It felt weird, always having someone knowing where he was supposed to be, but it helped because when Liam didn’t show up somewhere, he always knew where to start looking.

And he always was looking. He wanted to be near Liam, at first out of obligation, but eventually it turned into actual desire. Liam drew him in, he was warm, but not unpleasantly so, though Theo sometimes worried that if he stared too long, his eyes would burn. For all that he could take pain, he really didn’t want to get burned.

But he never did because Liam _cared_ and he made sure that Theo was okay. Theo’s whole purpose was keeping Liam safe, and he didn’t really care about himself much beyond that, so Liam did, he cared. 

They didn’t communicate much through words at the start, more so through actions. Liam took his pain after a fight or after a nightmare, whispering to Theo that he didn’t have to shoulder it alone anymore. Theo helped him stay in control, to manage his anger and hurt, and he kept him safe. Liam’s safety was all that mattered anyway.

It evolved with time. Theo opened up, accepted that maybe he deserved some protection of his own. He remembered one night, he stumbled home practically holding his chest closed to find Liam to take some of that damn pain so he could heal again. The thing he’ll never forget was Jenna’s scream when he collapsed in front of the three of them. She yelled at him for over an hour after that one, sure Liam was her son but she loved Theo too, and if anything, if he was going to be around to look out for Liam, _Theo_ had to stay alive too.

That was maybe the first time anyone had ever placed real value in his life. Someone was _asking_ him to stay alive because they wanted him there, and not just for an ulterior motive. He marveled in it that night, twisting a strip of torn t-shirt between his fingers as he sat in bed, Liam knocked out next to him, recovering from all the pain he’d taken.

He was able to live after that. Not just survive, not just be alive, but actually _live_ and it felt good. Maybe he didn’t deserve it, there were certainly pack members who felt that way, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He thought back to his time in the morgue when he considered nuance. Reactions were situational, and he learned to live with the consequences of _their_ reaction.

Theo also learned not to bring it up because he did once, dropped it casually in conversation, and Liam felt so guilty he shut down for the rest of the night, locking himself in his room. He wasn’t prepared for that response, fully believing that the pack saw his stint in Hell as a rehabilitation period rather than torture, but he didn’t give Liam enough credit.

He always assumed Liam was just like Scott. That was one reason it was so easy to agree to protect Liam, it was like penance for killing Scott, protecting someone who was basically him. But Theo should’ve realized, Scott’s inability to see things in shades of grey didn’t extend to his beta.

And the next morning when Liam snuck into his room, pulling Theo into his arms and out of a nightmare, Theo did realize. Liam was doing his own sort of penance, making up for all the pack put him through. Not that Theo felt it was really his job, and when he brought _that_ up, Liam scoffed, “Well someone has to do it. Why not me?”

Jenna didn’t really have any words for him when he asked what it meant later that night. She shrugged, running hand through his hair, “It just sounds to me like he’s trying to make something up to you. You’ve been hurt, and he knows that, so you should let him.”

“But I hurt him more, I think,” Theo rationalized.

“Pain is relative, but maybe,” Jenna suggested, hand on his knee, “you should try to look at things without a lens of pain over your eyes.”

So he did, even though it was unnatural at first. And when he finally mastered it, they finally reached the final shift in their relationship. The one where he realized that, yes he’d fight for Liam, probably forever, but he was tired of fighting. He’d been doing it for so long whether it be for himself or for others, and he was ready to stop. Liam was ready to let him.

“Not everything has to be a fight,” he told Theo one night, legs across Theo’s lap while the movie he picked played in the background.

Theo tugged at a string on his sweatshirt and hummed, “Maybe not, but it’s what I know best.”

Liam’s hand shot out to still his, waiting until Theo looked up at him to respond, “Aren’t you tired? Don’t you want to do something else?”

He did, he wanted to learn to talk, learn to love, despite feeling like those two things were beyond him for most of his years. And when he relayed that to Liam, the younger boy lit up, pulling him even closer.

“I want that too,” Liam told him, their noses brushing, lips almost bumping, “let me help you this time, Theo.”

“You don’t have to,” Theo was quick to throw out.

“I know,” Liam assured, “I want to.”

And then he was kissing Theo, cutting off any possible response. It felt good, better than Theo imagined, and he thought to himself maybe he could finally have it all, maybe pre-Hell Theo _didn’t_ have it all figured out. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey follow me on [tumblr](https://brokenlikea-stitch.tumblr.com/) if you want :)


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